Sometimes, I think I am important

Usually, I am considered a responsible person, who will get the job done, somehow.  Which is true, when I am working for someone else.  But when I am working for myself, doing things that will benefit me, I slack off, stay in bed, put it off.  Why is it so hard to do things for me?  Once a commitment gets me out of bed, I am hard to stop.  I can even get motivated to do things for myself, if I can avoid getting sucked into the Web.

All of my life, I have considered myself to be unworthy, second class, here to serve others.  I still have problems telling myself that I am worth the effort to get out of bed, that I have things to offer other people, that I am important.  Perhaps it is because I feel that if I am spending my energy on myself, it is not going to matter, because I will be gone someday.  Whereas, if I am spending energy helping somebody else, what I do could be remembered, cherished, passed on.  My community MAY survive, if everyone pitches in.  But I will not.  Beyond question, I will not.


Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: