Sometimes, I think I am important

Usually, I am considered a responsible person, who will get the job done, somehow.  Which is true, when I am working for someone else.  But when I am working for myself, doing things that will benefit me, I slack off, stay in bed, put it off.  Why is it so hard to do things for me?  Once a commitment gets me out of bed, I am hard to stop.  I can even get motivated to do things for myself, if I can avoid getting sucked into the Web.

All of my life, I have considered myself to be unworthy, second class, here to serve others.  I still have problems telling myself that I am worth the effort to get out of bed, that I have things to offer other people, that I am important.  Perhaps it is because I feel that if I am spending my energy on myself, it is not going to matter, because I will be gone someday.  Whereas, if I am spending energy helping somebody else, what I do could be remembered, cherished, passed on.  My community MAY survive, if everyone pitches in.  But I will not.  Beyond question, I will not.

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